Category Archives: blogstuffs

Starting over is underrated, in theory.

I haven’t submitted any features or editorials to ESFI recently, nor have I really allowed myself to write as often as I have meant to here. Realizing this weekend that I haven’t given an honest go at the larger goal that I finally sat down and attempted to complete this weekend, the column in this case, I figured that I would simply start over.

It sure was difficult to come to that conclusion.

Usually getting to a point where a due date is coming up means crunch time. It means putting in about 150%  of yourself until the task at hand is complete. Since I’m not getting compensated for sharing my opinions with folks on a larger ESFI platform, I decided that folks really didn’t want me doing something lame and speculating on what the year will being the sports community as a whole, and instead I have decided to focus like a laser on one particular aspect of the broadcasting element in consuming competitive games.

Hitting the proverbial reset button on the process was a mental relief and hassle at the same time. Sure, this let me come up with an idea that I might be able to ramble on about in a more persuasive manner, but now I have the added pressure of having to deliver on the promise that I would be contributing a column to the site. A recent addition to the editors of the site expressed concern in not having enough opinion to read on the website, and I fully intend to have something that might make this person proud to have donated his time to further games journalism in the competitive market.

With regards to gaming journalism: I want ESFI to grow. I’m not sure that I agree with the notions that there needs to be more than one ESFI for the journalism scene to be considered on fire. We’re doing the best we can ot continue producing content that covers SC2, Dota 2, CS and even upcoming titles that are expected to make a pretty big splash in the scene. I don’t think that having to do so requires many different websites that compete with each other to get the news and features that the community deserves. Instead, it’s more about breaking the power that large communities that teams have erected around themselves such as EvilGeniuses, TeamLiquid, vVv and other teams used to help build up the number of supporters and fans they could report to potential sponsors.

The reason ESFI hasn’t blown up per se is the fact that there are better venues for the PR machines behind each of these teams to release the information that needs to be covered. Depending on the community that the release is posted to, there might be massaging of the message intended for the general public. There might be a few details left out (think tournaments and where they were getting their funding from) and perhaps some fluffy speculation left in (but only when it serves the organizations interests to fully hype-up something).

It’ll be a long time coming when ESFI steps into its rightful place as a top-tier source for news through-out the entire gaming scene, but that’s because what’s working for teams and organizations is… well,… working right now. And that mantra about the not fixing what isn’t broke thing? That’s standard operating procedure for keeping things under control.

As far as owners, organizers and sponsors are concerned, there is no need to hit the reset button and give a site like ESFI a chance. They have the places to deliver their message and the audience to pass it on organically without too much work. There’s no need for comment or analysis from the audience outside of what’s necessary for the circlejerk of novelty Reddit accounts and forum troll fodder to continue adding to the list of reasons to give a shit about the community.

As ESFI grows, sources and players that might have avoided giving third-party interviews might not be so cold to the idea of journalism as a manner in which to increase awareness of something that needs more of spotlight as far as they’re concerned. But that’s ultimately the point of ESFI—to be fans of players and the games they play. It’s not to help the proliferation of the PR machine and help them control the message. It’s to report on news and share speculation on things in a unique enough manner with a goal to help the scene become more mature.

At least that’s what I’d like for ESFI to be—unafraid to hit the reset button.

Getting back into the gist of things.

Well, I have been pretty busy with a lot of things lately, but it’s not an excuse to write up what’s been on my mind lately so at least I can keep track of the thoughts in my head.

You’d think that with the work schedule that I have that I’d be able to find the time to write on my own, but that’s certainly not the case as I find that I would be labeled a loner of sorts if I didn’t associate with folks outside of the workplace. Office hours are great… and then everyone else decides to do things in the evenings.

I dunno where I was going with that, but being able to ramble again is a quite refreshing feeling. And at the risk of sounding like a whining emo kid, I have had a lot of my plate in the past two months compared to the stress that I felt over the majority of the year 2011.

But tonight, I write.

Reeling back on the sharing.

I just went out to lunch and forgot to post about any unusual events that happened during that time on a social media site.Womp womp.
@bcarr
Brad Carr

I haven’t been posting as often as I should have been lately. This isn’t from a lack of want to do so, really, but a lack in available brainpower to come up with something to write to this space. I make this excuse every so often, but this time it really is for more than simply being lazy.

If it weren’t for a couple of pretty monumental and life-changing personal/family situations, I’d be on this path towards getting my upcoming column for ESFI out of the conceptual part of the development process and into the side of the process that can be proved to exist.

There are emotions that I want to convey and thoughts I have on subjects that aren’t limited to technology and esports. Eventually, I will write about these things. I will give no fucks. You have been warned.

 

Real time pressure.

When it came down to covering an event this weekend, every time I was asked to cover a specific event, I had a mini-panic. It was the first resorts event I tried to cover with some respect to real-time while not being in attendance. It felt like I had to force myself to get excited about certain aspects of the games. I had to write down notes for games that I covered in recaps.

I had to write down notes.

That might be one of the biggest failings that I’ve come to realize as I grow older is the fact that I just flat-out forget details all the time. This is why I’ve re-architeched my workflow at work to incorporate more written notes to myself and outlines in general so I don’t forget to say something important to my point or research that I’m writing up.

The other thought that crosses my mind is the realization that I have less skill than others in the field that I aspire to become a key mover in. I want to give exports journalism as much of a try as the opportunities come at me, but there are points where some of my writing just gets confused and boggled down in editing. For the most part, keeping tenses the same while I’m writing is not at the forefront of my train of thought, however it is important for certain write-ups… like recaps.

The lack of confidence that came from the editors notes from articles I submitted this weekend was quite apparent to people that I interacted with. “You look tired.” “Are you okay?” “Is work treating you alright?”

The first two I generally have responses prepared in reply and the third one is always something along the lines of “I’d be the last person to complain about work.” The latter statement is the truth and nothing but.

I’m sure that any reply to the belief that I’m exhibiting “writer’s block” or explaining that esports is ruining my confidence would only shorten the delay from that point in time to when I’m questioned about feeling depressed.

Of course that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Life is about managing stress and depression and cultivating value and confidence. Perhaps I’m just not up to par with the people that I surround myself with.

Orlando and new beginnings.

I’m going to admit it right now, I have had little to no inspiration lately with the whole blog thing. I think that’s going to change with the lessened amount of stress that I have in my head.

Let me be continue to be honest with you though: I might be a pretty big fan of MLG after that last event. Perhaps it’s because I finally realized how close to the inner circle one could get with a press pass and a few conversations. It’s nothing outrageous and it’s not like I could really call anyone I met a friend, but I could say someone like thegunrun is genuinely awesome. AskJoshy? The same.

Obviously I’m not important to most of the crowd, but being able to interact with them in a limited way is just invigorating as a fan of the community and someone who is trying to gain enough access to report what’s going on. While in that situation, I wouldn’t (and won’t) be able to report anything, I feel like the perspective that the situation gave me, in addition to the weekend as a whole, has only been a positive addition to my understanding of the scene.

I won’t be able to take advantage of the festivities that BlizzCon provides on an annual basis in Anaheim, but I think these two MLG events have filled my quota for being a no-one in the scene wishing to break into that semi-walled garden of esports as a journalist.

Anywho. I just wanted to rant for a bit.

Also, I wanted to share this tweet.

Yeah, I ordered a Blue Moon and a slice of cheesecake, airport bartender girl who is cute. WOT OF IT?
@bcarr
Brad Carr

Working on a few different posts all at once.

So, I might have made the most noobish mistake when it comes to time spent on writing for ESFI/this blog: spending my time on too many ideas at once. I figured that each idea might still take a little time to develop and properly work into a coherent though, so I figured I’d at least write a little status update on what I’m thinking about or working on every so often.

DotA2, DotA-clones, MMORPGs and esports. Granted most folks are latching on to the new term ‘multiplayer online battle arena’ instead of calling them what they are, I wonder what the influence is of a game like League of Legends growing by leaps and bounds over something like World of Warcrafts’ recently marked decline of subscribers. DotA and like titles seem to be the perfect match amongst micro-intensive players looking to focus solely on a uniform goal instead of an ever-changing meta game, while World of Warcraft and MMORPGs have an ever-changing meta game based more along having new content that players crave and (quite frankly) pay for. I’m no expert about MMORPGs, so I’m polling some big community contributors to help me find a solid base of knowledge about the whole genre and its relation to the esports movement.

It’s esports. Not eSports. There’s an ongoing gag in the ESFI chatroom and amongst certain individuals on Twitter where when they refer to esports in another written manner, I would troll them with a simple message correcting them. I think that dropping the capital letter is a pretty important step to take, but it’ll probably take the whole community to get there. When I saw someone use the word with the capital S used, I wondered if it was a brand like Major League Gaming—which it isn’t. Maybe I’m a little slow when it comes to finding distinctions like this, but I think the community should begin a public discussion about this.

iPad/PC deliberation. I’ve been thinking about it lately, and I have to say, I’m really close to springing for an iPad sometime soon, but I always back down from picking one up because of the fact that… well, I already have an iPhone. I dunno if I could justify adding an iPad to my inventory when I have access to a pretty speedy MacBook Pro as well as my personal MacBook. I want to start looking at getting a PC for home so I can do things like play the last three years’ games the way they were meant to be played or perhaps stream something that doesnt suck over Justin.TV.