31 December 2019

It’s been quite the year. For esports. And for me. Potentially the lowest I’ve been in quite a long while, since Dad died. Since I gave Mom away to Ray. My anxiety is at its highest levels that I’ve ever felt. A lot of that rests on me.

I used to write a lot. Every day. In notebooks with a fountain pen, I kept notes on anything I wanted to. Before I was let go at Feedback, I bought a Techo planner that I was going to make a grid for. It worked for a week. Then I was let go.

I’m finally going to use this as a means to restart that habit. The longer I keep this up, maybe the longer I can keep my sanity. It’d be nice to think that I can keep something in my head.

I’ll update my blog over the next few weeks to bring it kicking and screaming into the modern times—secure and decently clean enough to maintain some sort of presence. Maybe even move from tweeting to blogging again? Sure would be nice. Wouldn’t it?

Samson says “hi,” too.

Back at it again.

I can’t handle Medium anymore. I like the ideas behind it, but I’m just not sure it’s an ideal situation for a personal blog moving forward. I want better control over shorter posts. I don’t want to be guilt-tripped into added x amount of words in order to trip the secret sauce formula in order to get views.

I just want a place to write.

Yeah, this place doesn’t have an SSL cert. I’ll fix that in due time. Also, I’ll be archiving my lowercase esports posts over here and reposting them under my name.

I’ll add more here, soon.

Back to the blog.

I’ve made one of these posts before using the same title. And yet, I’ve committed another exodus from this blog to Medium. And once again, I’m returning to this WordPress installation that I’ve had online for years.

In an age where Twitter’s stability and timeline seem to be getting more constrained every day top the point where the social media platform’s sunset years (or quarters) are in front of it, I just feel like the platform where I’m the most at home at isn’t exactly the most dependable place to put my ideas going forward. While it still exists, I’m going to use it, rest assured.

As far as why I’m moving back to the blog from Medium, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t live up to the massive amount of writing and formality that Medium seems to bring for my longer-than-a-tweet content. I like Medium as a platform. I like the design of everything on Medium. The editor is brilliant. The functionality of publications and profiles makes sense to me.

I think Medium will find more success from users and freelance writers who’ve actually spent time honing their writing skills. It’s fair to say that I don’t have that experience and ability, as much as I’d like to have thought that I could be a news writer or some sort of journalist about esports or anything else, really. I just want to write snarky posts that drip in sarcasm and skepticism (potentially ignorance) on a site that I control and own.

So yeah. Smaller posts. More direct writing. Less feeling like I have to write epic dissertations. More thinking like I can use the blog to help keep up without giving others a feed overload.

I’m going to try.