Here’s what I learned from CheckPoint S3E7.

  • StarDock did something? Oh please, let it be a new Star Control.
  • What’s new? Something. At least CheckPoint has a direction that I can get behind with “new games are not inherently funny”.
  • A Plants vs. Zombies demake for the Sega Genesis? Those Russians can do anything when they set their mind to it. Like anyone can. In other news: I’m still waiting on my Kickstarted Pier Solar port to the Xbox 360, WaterMelon.
  • Of all of the properties to derive movies from, some bozo production studio has chosen Gran Turismo? :facepalm:
  • I am equally upset that the Tekken Revolution title will not have a mutant salmon as a playable character. Also, was that Paul I heard in the background? BRING PAUL BACK!
  • Spelunky ported to the PC? I guess folks are happy, I suppose? Was this a thing on the XBLA? I admit, I’ve missed a lot of indie games on that store.
  • Oh man. Stardock is rebooting the Star Control series? EXCELLENT. Graham is completely on point here. Star Control II was the pinnacle of the simulation genre in its heyday and it never took itself too seriously because it always remembered that it was a game, first and foremost. Stardock better be treading carefully with how it restarts Star Control for a generation of gamers who need to be explicitly told everything they need to do at all times.
  • They can’t let go of the Tekken story. I can’t really blame them, but I’d rather see them make some more Canada jokes or something. Or hey, Paul is there on set. Why not bring him in?
  • My Little Pony items on Xbox Live? Great. It makes it that much easier to tell who I should be removing from my friends list based on their brony status. Because fuck bronies.