You know what they announced already. It’s news. iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus. The Apple Watch. The Apple Pay system.

Yeah. All of that is fine and dandy. But oh boy, Apple has a way making things. And I want to sign up for one of these immediately:

I know the battery life not being disclosed at this point is a huge deal, but I DON’T REALLY CARE, I JUST WANT ONE. PLEASE. IT LOOKS SO NICE AND IT MEANS I DON’T HAVE TO UPGRADE TO AN IPHONE 6, AND I WOULD REALLY LIKE ONE, APPLE. PLEASE.